Mental Health Check-In + Get to Know Me

Hi everyone.

I was worried that my monthly post was overdue, but when I saw that my last update was 11/15, I decided that posting three days later in December really isn't all that bad!

I just wanted to check in to see how you're all doing; I know the holidays can be a tricky subject for some folks for a variety of reasons - and especially now that we're nearly two years into the COVID-19 pandemic, it's even more difficult when it's *still* not safe to visit loved ones. 

As for me, overall, I'm happy to say that I'm doing very, VERY well. 

I haven't talked about this yet, only because I wanted to share a bit of my own personal history with mental health to explain how I've reached this point in my journey. 

*takes a deep breath* So...

Back in September, I'd started what would be a three-month Leave of Absence from my full-time job because due to a number of reasons that I won't bore you with, my mental state was tanking through most of the summer, and by July my husband and I were discussing the possibility of me taking time off work (again, like I did in 2020) to get into group therapy. After setting everything up with my employer, I was able to start short-term disability on 9-1-2021; I didn't go back to work until very recently, on 12/3/2021. 

I'd attended a Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP) M-F from 9:00am-1:30pm for about 2-3 weeks before I had to drop down to the hospital's Intensive Outpatient Therapy (IOP) sessions three days a week: on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, from 9:00am-12:30pm. And I've got to say...these sessions were truly life changing for me. 

I'm not exaggerating. 

The hospital that I attended the aforementioned programs through specializes in treating various mental health conditions using Dialectical Behavior Therapy - aka DBT. It's commonly used for people with Bipolar I, but it has had success with other diagnoses as well, including anxiety and depression. 

At the start of the program, I met with the hospital's psychiatrist, who'd run a complete assessment to see where I was at mentally and also to verify if my previous diagnoses were still in alignment with what I was going through at the time I'd started the group sessions. In 2018 (and I may have mentioned this before; please bear with me if I have), I was diagnosed with the following: 

Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Major Depression Disorder 
Social Anxiety Disorder
Panic Disorder
Mild Agoraphobia

After meeting with Dr. B., and running down the list of symptoms I had been experiencing for several months leading up to my initial consultation for the program, I'd received a new diagnosis: 

Bipolar 2 with Hypomania and Bipolar Depression

My former therapist and I were discussing the possibility of me having BP during the summer when my mood swings were more dramatic, especially since I'd had multiple nights where I'd only need 2-3 hours of sleep and stay up all day with no naps, and get ALL THE THINGS done. 

My new diagnosis also meant another somewhat scary step: starting a new medication. 

I've been on Sertraline (the generic form of Zoloft) since December 2018; I'd started at 25 mg and I'm currently taking 200 mg. Once Dr. B. confirmed that I was struggling with the mood swings associated with BP2, he'd prescribed 25 mg of Lamotrigine (generic form of Lamictil) for two weeks; then, 50 mg for two more weeks; then 75 mg for another two weeks. 

I'd noticed a major difference in my energy levels and overall mood by the end of the first week on this medication, so I was never bumped up from the 75 mg to the capped 100 mg that's typically used for this medication. And honestly, after about 2-3 weeks when my husband told me he'd noticed a difference in my personality shifting in a more positive direction, that was when I knew the combination of therapy and a new prescription cocktail were just what I needed to feel human again. 

As I'd mentioned earlier in this post, I've only been back at work since 12/3/2021. The first few days, I was taking some refresher training courses online (just to get re-acquainted with the basics of my job); then I spent a day listening to a teammate take calls, and get caught up on some of the big updates going on within my employer's organization. And since 12/9, I've been taking calls on my own. 

And I've been doing very, Very, VERY well.

I've been doing call center work for just about ten years; my first role in this type of environment happened back in March 2012. And for the majority of the past decade, I've been a part of the insurance industry; I've worked as both a commercial auto sales rep and as a customer service rep (I definitely prefer customer service!). And the rigid, M-F/40 hrs per week schedule used to get to me. But now, I find myself enjoying the structure. It's definitely something that I need to help keep me grounded. 

AND! 

Even when we'd had a huge situation happen that caused some errors and lots and lots and LOTS of potentially stressful phone calls, I didn't let the stress overpower me. I didn't let my anxiety take control, and I didn't panic by the number of people waiting in the queue to speak with us reps. 

And I'm so. damn. PROUD of myself for this accomplishment. 

Granted, I do still eventually want to get a role that is *off* the phones because down the line, who knows if I'll still be in a healthy mindset like I am now; but for now, I'll take the win. 

I'm not just enjoying my job and the responsibilities it entails: I'm having FUN!

Well, I think I've talked your ear off enough this time around. I just want to take a moment and thank everyone who's read my posts on this blog. I wish you and your loved ones a very happy holiday season and a blessed New Year to come in 2022 - we're just two short weeks away! 

Take care everyone. Stay safe, and stay healthy. 

~Melanie